It's only fair

HELP the cause of women's emancipation - let your wife do the barbecuing.

In the pink

SEXIST terminology sometimes works against the male. But don't worry - she'll be right!

Dummy run

IN Sweden, dummies test cars. In Australia, they drive 'em!

Make him feel at home

GEORGIE BEST will be okay in heaven - I hear there's a guy up there who can turn water into wine!

Tough diet

THANKS to the present government, I've learnt to live on a shoestring. But it's okay...if it's boiled and a lttle garlic and tomato paste added.

Pedal power

LAST week my wife bought an execise bike for a ridiculous figure - me!

Help yourself

TOO many politicians are fuelled by personal motive - like petrol stations, they're self-serving.

Left wing ideology

THE British drive on the left-hand side of the road - why don't Australians try it?

An 'E.T.' experience

ALAS, this war on terrorism continues to give many innocent people an experience that is "out of this world".

What's the difference?

A CHRISTIAN clergyman has expressed his indignation over the publication of a photograph of a dead Iraqi soldier. I find this puzzling for, within his own establishment, I have witnessed numerous images of a poor man nailed to a wooden cross.

Heel!

DOGS and politicians can be mongrels - but mutts never let you down!

The Christmas spirit

THE spirit of Christmas is in the hands of the giver which, if you're not careful, can put you in the hands of the receiver.

Ready, Get Set, Go!

WE don't have to win the human race - just save it.

Michael Jackson spaced out

FOR the sake of innocent young boys, Michael Jackson should be encouraged to perform his 'Moon Dance' just one more time - and stay there!